What Stone Helps With Grief

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The power of a stone in grief

Angie's mother was with her one day and the next morning she was gone. It was sudden, with no warning and no time to say goodbye. The doctors said it must have been a heart attack in her sleep, sudden and rare in someone so young. But it happened all the same. Now Angie was alone.

Numb, in shock , nothing seemed real. In one moment, Angie's whole universe tipped on it's side, the ground pulled out from under her, everything she knew and loved and relied upon and hoped for - changed, gone forever .

She reached out in her heart for some sign of her mother but there was nothing. She couldn't feel her anymore. She was gone.

Why did she leave me, where is she now, why doesn't she reach out? Angie's heart ached and her head felt like it was bursting with the pain of so many unanswered questions. There were no answers. Nothing made sense, everything was different. Everything hurt.

Long nights with no sleep and days of unending grief. Just pain and no way to understand how life could still somehow just go on.

Then one day, on a walk by the creek, Angie noticed a rock, glistening wet from the water. It was shaped like a heart, and Angie knew it was a sign from her mother.

I love you no matter what. I'm always here for you.

It made all the difference in the world.

This small stone in the rough shape of a heart, helped to soothe and comfort Angie through the most difficult time of her life.

It had meaning, it mattered and was healing.


Many ways through grief

Angie's stone was a simple river rock, yet full of meaning and power.

Help in grief can come in many unexpected ways.

As a counsellor, I know that symbols, rituals, traditions, special objects and connections are important ways to process pain, and begin the journey to healing.

In times of grief it is important to allow yourself compassion and comfort.

Many people find comfort and meaning in the power of natural objects, including special stones and crystals.

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Stones can give us a sense of stability and grounding in grief.

You've heard the term "grounding", the phrase that refers to the sense that we are stable, feeling present and connected to our lives and to the earth.

Rocks, stones and crystals are, of course, part of the earth, come from the earth and when we touch, hold and carry stones we can feel more connected to the earth - more grounded - more stable and "okay".

Many cultures, especially Indigenous cultures, believe that the earth and all that is on it is "alive" in some sense, has healing powers and is an integral part of us as humans.

Every stone has it's own unique chemical composition, and it's own ancient story.

Some people believe that different types of stones are symbolic and carry unique beneficial elements. Regardless of whether you share that belief, you may feel comfort in the symbolism and reminders of how we can process and heal through our grief. Let's take a look.......

What stones help with grief?

Rose Quartz for self compassion

rose quartz for self compassion in grief

When in grief, one of the most important things you can do is to be compassionate with yourself.

Rose quartz is said to imbue the holder with a sense of the power of self compassion.

It's soft pink colour and opacity conveys a sense of calm kindness, and a whisper of love.

Self compassion is especially helpful in the beginning stages of grief when self blame, frustration, and guilt can flood your soul. Rose quartz reminds you of the importance of gentle understanding, self-care and compassion.

You may find comfort in carrying rose quartz with you as a reminder of the power of self compassion.


Moonstone - light in the darkness

moonstone for grief giving light in darkness
Moonstone jewelry photo by Arian Pingstone

Like the phases of the moon, moonstone symbolizes the presence of light even in the darkest moments. Carrying moonstone with you can be a reminder of the fact that even when things seem darkest there is always light. The phases of the moon are like the phases of grief, waxing and waning in intensity. Grief loses it's sharpness and the love that is behind the grief shines through.

Black Obsidian - stability in the depths of grief

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Holding a piece of black obsidian with it's deep molten colour can give you a sense of connection and control of grief. Coming from the depths of the earth, and emerging contained in a solid form, black obsidian symbolizes the deepest painful most difficult emotions. There is no denying the depths of grief and yet having this symbol with you also helps provide a feeling of understanding, containment and control. Like grief, the violent powerful lava cools to a memory, not so wild, hot and and dangerous, but cools to a form that can be carried and now safely held.

Smoky Quartz - strength and healing

smoky quartz

Smoky quartz is said to promote feelings of purification, release, strength, courage and acceptance.

Topaz - there is recovery and optimism

The beautiful colour of yellow topaz symbolizes the warmth of the sun, the dawning of the day after the darkest night, and the return of optimism that will eventually follow grief.

Even when it seems grief will never end, it does soften and you will emerge and slowly begin to feel life again.

Therapy provides stability, structure, caring and comfort as you move through grief

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It can be good to have a helping hand, a shoulder, a person who can listen , sit beside you and understand.

Grief comes from the place of your own deep love and although it is very hard to feel so vulnerable and lost, you can emerge and learn to feel better again.

Everyone grieves differently, there is no timetable to the grieving process, and no "correct" way to experience grief.

It is very important for your mental health to process these feelings instead of just pushing them down. We are never really taught how to do this, and you may be feeling very alone.

Whether you have lost a family member, partner, friend or a pet, your feelings matter. Symbols, traditions and ways of keeping memories alive are so important for the healing process. Whether it is a special stone, journaling, a special ceremony, or cherished ritual, we can stay connected and honour our love and loss in a way that helps us heal.

Through counselling you can learn how to process difficult emotions, honour your feelings, find inner peace, let go of negative energy, and empower your inner strength.