What Creates Real Holiday Joy - steps you can take

We all want the magical joyful holiday

Sometimes the holidays can feel like pressure.

We want to experience the joy of this quintessential holiday and it feels like the bar is set very high – sometimes even unreachable.

We can begin to feel that anything less than a perfect moment is a failure.

It’s not made any easier by the fact that holidays in almost every culture are commercialized.

Price tags do not create real holiday joy

Real, lasting holiday joy doesn’t come from price tags.
It comes from anticipation, wonder, togetherness, ritual, and meaning.

And the good news is: those are easier to create than we think.

Meaningful moments

Expensive gifts create a brief surge of excitement because they trigger anticipation and novelty.
But once the wrapping paper is gone, the feeling can fade.

What sustains joy over time is something different:

feeling seen
feeling connected
feeling part of something meaningful
feeling present
feeling emotionally safe

That’s why the holidays people remember most often aren’t about what they received, but:

late-night conversations
laughter around the table
quiet rituals
moments of surprise
shared experiences

Those moments stay in the nervous system long after December ends.

Five Real Sources of Holiday Joy

1. Anticipation

Joy begins before the moment itself.

Anticipation creates excitement, warmth, and a sense of something special coming – often more powerful than the event.

Easy ideas:

Create a simple “experience advent calendar” with notes like:
- “Movie night”
- “Evening walk with hot drinks”
- “Breakfast together”
Leave a small handwritten note for someone to find later.
Plan one surprise experience and let people know something is coming – without saying what.

2. Wonder

Wonder comes from slowing down enough to notice beauty, novelty, or magic – especially simple ones.

Easy ideas:

Take a nighttime walk to look at lights, with no destination.
Light candles at dinner instead of turning on bright lights.
Watch snow fall, rain hit the windows, or fire flicker – quietly.
Ask: “What felt beautiful today?”

Wonder doesn’t require effort.
It requires attention.

3. Togetherness

Togetherness is not about being busy together – it’s about being present together. It can be with family, partners, friends, coworkers, pets. It can be in-person or on-line.

Easy ideas:

Moments where we deliberately put away our phones and stay present with others
Cooking one simple meal together.
Playing a board or card game.
Sitting together with music on, doing nothing else.

Presence creates a deeper sense of luxury than any object.

Special note – if you find yourself alone for the holidays – you are actually NOT alone – many other people find themselves by themselves at the holidays. It can feel good to get out and join in with others- volunteering or visiting or simply connecting online.

4. Ritual

Ritual turns ordinary moments into something meaningful.

A ritual doesn’t need to be elaborate – it just needs consistency and intention.

Easy ideas:

Light a candle each evening and share one reflection from the day.
Begin weekends with a shared breakfast or walk.
End the day with a short gratitude round.
Create a simple “December opening” or “December closing” moment.

Ritual creates emotional safety – and that’s where joy grows.

5. Meaning

Meaning comes from values, generosity, memory, and connection beyond ourselves.

It’s what gives the season depth.

Easy ideas:

Write one sincere letter to someone you care about.
Share a story from your childhood or family history.
Do one small act of kindness – anonymously.
Reflect together on:
- What mattered this year
- What was hard
- What you’re proud of
- What you hope for next year

These moments create a sense of richness no purchase can replace.